One of these days, where you caught by your emotions.
One of these days, when you almost loose your self.
One of these days when you stop believing.
One of these days when your tears running.
One of these days when you got fury.
One of these days when you just wane shout.
One of these days when you think you brain explode. 

I know it happens every day!
I know it happens all time and everywhere!
I know i cannot change the world!
I know did so much!
But was it enough? Was it really enough?
I am alone with such?

Today morning in the local orphanage one bed was empty!!

Sometimes i hate this very world!

When i look from this point of view on my new job site i do not know where i should start my work:-) But as always i take up this new challenge as always a new job site is a new challenge and experience. You are welcome!
In 18 month here we will produce steel! More than two million tons in a year!

which i had today! Get up at the morning nervous very much! Did not know how it will end.
Some things happen in life are happen and not much comfortable. Not easy to bear but also not impossible to solve. It changes from today on my life. Freedom and without load on my heart.
Hope my eagerness for living comes back, hope i can take my camera now free in mind in search for the good in life.
All what happens in my life are welcome now! Nothing and absolutely nothing will hurt me anymore!
So i stayed on a street and shout it out! Today was a happy day!

Robert

Emptiness of a rainy day!

It was in a cold and rainy november day as i seek around. Seeking for something to capture. Capture my self perhaps, my soul or what ever bothers me right now. Still not found what i was looking for. But such days will come all time so i no need worry. Will have the chance to find what i am looking for.

I wane introduce what i am doing and whom i care here in India.

This is a steel rolling plant and the people here call her "the old fast running lady".

She keeps me away from sleep the last couple weeks and we all was worry so much about her. She is not the youngest anymore and do her job now since 20 years. It was about time to help her and we decided to shut her down for a while to give her some new mechanics.
She was very thankful and give us good start up. But still worry because some of her old boons still squeaking sometimes and than we all have to have a closer look to her. But still we could manage together with her all and now she is running fast like as she was new.

That was also the reason why i could not participate much in critique section the last weeks. But now is OK!

My weekend was not that good as I wished. The rain here in India does not make it easy for me and for good captures. But as I got used to walking around in the living areas of the people I take my camera rain gear and start walking. I heard some music and singing. I go there to have a look what the people doing there. As I come close I saw that in one house a puja is celebrated. 36 hours long the people praying to Shiva and make religious music and reading the Sutra! The people were friendly and invited me to spend some time with them. I could manage this one picture.

Strange day!
Today is a special day for Hindus in India. Even the sun was shining and the sky was blue and full of nicely looking clouds. A procession take place today early morning I wane capture. I prepared my camera well except change the battery. So as it comes I also forgot to take a spare one. I was angry about my self so much but enjoyed this religious moment. I am still unsatisfied with my self and my stupid ness. For go back and take a fresh battery it was to late. Later I calm down and just do my daily work. I go for lunch to the restaurant and unexpected some cars stopped and an orange suited priest step out of a car. It was not ore and not less Giri Swami Avdheshanand (http://www.prabhuprem.org.in) and we had a view words with each other. I am greatly moved by his wise words he speaks to me.

At the end, sometimes something will happen always even on a strange day!

I think its time to introduce my self. This is me photographed by a friend. This week not much happen here in India during the rain season. Even I could not manage some picture. Hopefully at the weekend the weather will be friendly to me and I can take some snaps.

Robert

I had a nice day today and felt so well. I meet two very nice person and we spend the day together. Now the rain season starts here in India and many clouds are there. A storm comes up and i had to leave the place i was. I could manage this one picture.

Yesterday i was visiting little shira to give her the pictures in a small booklet. She and her family was very happy. Somehow I cannot forget her eyes and all the question she asking me the day I meet her the first time. Good luck to you little shira!

Last days I had no luck for good captures or guess my mood is not good. So I start search my hard disk and just look some of my pictures. I found this one and remember the story very clear:

60 minutes

At this morning I went out early to capture the sun rise on the local lake. But as it is all time the weather was not friendly to me and it was misty too much for some landscapes. So I decided to wait a little and enjoy the quietness and the peace on the lake. Some time later I hear a car coming and thought my peace is over now. On the other site of the causeway I was sitting and enjoying I saw a woman walking strait toward me. She asking me what I am doing here and I explain to her. We had around 60 minutes for talking but as we talk I thought the whole day I was sitting there with her. I could manage this one picture and i take it against the light. Her Name is Sameena and she is from north of India. Her life story fits in 60 minutes. Good luck to you Sameena!

Today is 4 of May and it’s very hot here in India. Yesterday afternoon it was raining so heavy. In the noon time I could manage some couple shots. I meet little Shira during my photo tour in Mango what is a part of the town Jamshedpur. This little girl speaks English very good and she asks me many questions. I only will write down some of the answers I give to her:

Why………
Because we do not know your living style.
Because many western people do not wane see what is going on here.
Because we have a very good living in western country’s.
Because western country’s should know about ìt.
Because they do not wane believe this only by story telling.
Because many people thinking this is not true what we experience here in India.
Because many people thinking there are only single cases when we show pictures of the lower class people.
Because we do not understand why in this world such a things happen.

“You mean why I come here and take photos and communicate with the people?”

Because I wane understand the people’s living here.
Because I wane understand the people’s culture.
I show the pictures to the people in my home country.
Yes some of my pictures brought out some good for the people here in India.
I could manage to help some view people.
Yes I visit the child’s from “Bal Vihar”
No, I do not wane show this pictures to others.
Because I made it only for them and not for the public and they ask me for not showing this pictures.
Yes I did something for them.
Yes they were very happy.
Yours I wane show if you agree.
I will write down what you have asked me.
Yes you are beautiful.
Yes I like it here in Jamshedpur.
Yes I will come back to you and give you the pictures.
Yes I like the people here.
Because they are very friendly.
….
….
….

I decided to write some journal today. Hopeful somebody read and have interest. Today is first of May 2009 and I sit in my office. Outside temperature is 45 °C and the sun burns like the hell on my skin. I review some of my photography’s. But still no clue to work on it.

I will write about the picture “incidently exposure of a stranger”. I was on a business trip from Jamshedpur to Ranchi. The day was hot and the road terrible. So it comes as it should comes on this bad roads a tire was broken and my driver and I we was stuck in middle of somewhere. He need walk to the next village to find some shop for repair. I decided to use my chance and grab my cam to take some pictures in a small village on the road. The person seems curious that a foreign stranger the size like me and sweating walking trough this village and take some snaps. Most of the villagers close there doors and hide them self. But as I cross this house the message that some stranger is in the village was spread already and this child’s seems very interesting about me. So I could make this picture. They did not let me come inside there house. Later my driver finds me and we drive to Ranchi.